Coming back from a sabbatical away from the dating scene?
Let’s be frank, there’s no time dump quite as tiresome as panning for gold in the adult dating world. Trying to incorporate dating into a job-home-family routine can disrupt your routine to no end.
Dating does not have to be the time dump you think it is.
Here are 7 easy ways that can save you precious time while trying to get back in the game.
1) In the now ubiquitous words of Disney’s latest musical: Let It Go. You can have goals outside of dating, you probably already do. Don’t obsess about forcing things to happen. It’s bad for you and it’s bad for developing a relationship. If you’re both too busy right now, so be it.
2) Who cares if they don’t watch Game of Thrones while you are literally shaking in anticipation of Khaleesi’s next move? This is a dangerous trap of unrealistic expectations. Your personal interests and quirks do not need to be in perfect galactic alignment with your partners. Eliminate the so-called “game breakers” and give romance a chance.
3) Don’t mistake casting aside unrealistic expectations with lowering or even doing away with your standards. Even at the most basic level, you should have some absolutes regarding your rights and needs. Never tolerate behavior in a date that you would not tolerate for your best friend’s partner. Destructive, demeaning, and downright disgusting habits are the kind of baggage that real adults don’t have time for. If your dating prospect is still the same slob they were in college, leave them back in school where they belong.
4) Here’s the dirty little secret that online finance insiders at eMerchantBroker.com already know: adult dating sites know more about what you want than you do. It’s what keeps the subscriptions flowing into their coffers. Know what you want and be the one who attracts who you want.
5) Don’t be afraid to fly solo. Wingmen are great and your friends are great for when you need a little push or maybe a little restraint, but if you’re not comfortable by yourself in the adult dating world you’re in for some rough water. Find out where you’re comfortable going out, and trust yourself to meet people there.
6) It is always too soon for marriage on date #1. Say “I won’t” to thinking “I do” on a first date. This isn’t a tryout for that lifelong varsity team spot: it’s just a date. You have one decision to make: do you want a second date? If you’re asking yourself if you can marry someone whose fingernails are slightly too long as they raise a dinner roll to their mouth you’ve already put yourself six feet under.
7) Finally, when the interested party cops to some weird neurosis or that they’re still picking up the pieces of their shattered heart, believe them when they say they’re not altogether. Odds are you’re not going to able to fix what’s wrong with them. And really, that’s not your job. If it’s a little too heavy for you, move along. Sometimes, the easiest way to let someone off easy is by saying, “I’m messed up” just because it’s better than saying, ‘Thanks, but no thanks.”